Iyihua

Archive for 十月 2010

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Transcript:

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world’s largest Gryffindor reunion.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, the law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step to self improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that have expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These may seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that would never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension. I know that the irony strikes with the force of a cartoon anvil, now.

So they hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all the subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.

So given a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

Now you might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I personally will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working at the African research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to speak against their governments. Visitors to our offices included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had left behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him back to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just had to give him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard, and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:
As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

I wish you all very good lives.
Thank you very much.

在我还是一个孩子的时候,我的夏天总是在德州祖父母的农场中度过。我帮忙修理风车,为牛接种疫苗,也做其它家务。每天下午,我们都会看肥皂剧,尤其是《我们的岁月》。我的祖父母参加了一个房车俱乐部,那是一群驾驶Airstream拖挂型房车的人们,他们结伴遍游美国和加拿大。每隔几个夏天,我也会加入他们。我们把房车挂在祖父的小汽车后面,然后加入300余名Airstream探险者们组成的浩荡队伍。

我爱我的祖父母,我崇敬他们,也真心期盼这些旅程。那是一次我大概十岁时的旅行,我照例坐在后座的长椅上,祖父开着车,祖母坐在他旁边,吸着烟。我讨厌烟味。

在那样的年纪,我会找任何借口做些估测或者小算术。我会计算油耗还有杂货花销等鸡毛蒜皮的小事。我听过一个有关吸烟的广告。我记不得细节了,但是广告大意是说,每吸一口香烟会减少几分钟的寿命,大概是两分钟。无论如何,我决定为祖母做个算术。我估测了祖母每天要吸几支香烟,每支香烟要吸几口等等,然后心满意足地得出了一个合理的数字。接着,我捅了捅坐在前面的祖母的头,又拍了拍她的肩膀,然后骄傲地宣称,“每天吸两分钟的烟,你就少活九年!”

我清晰地记得接下来发生了什么,而那是我意料之外的。我本期待着小聪明和算术技巧能赢得掌声,但那并没有发生。相反,我的祖母哭泣起来。我的祖父之前一直在默默开车,把车停在了路边,走下车来,打开了我的车门,等着我跟他下车。我惹麻烦了吗?我的祖父是一个智慧而安静的人。他从来没有对我说过严厉的话,难道这会是第一次?还是他会让我回到车上跟祖母道歉?我以前从未遇到过这种状况,因而也无从知晓会有什么后果发生。我们在房车旁停下来。祖父注视着我,沉默片刻,然后轻轻地、平静地说:“杰夫,有一天你会明白,善良比聪明更难。”

选择比天赋更重要

今天我想对你们说的是,天赋和选择不同。聪明是一种天赋,而善良是一种选择。天赋得来很容易——毕竟它们与生俱来。而选择则颇为不易。如果一不小心,你可能被天赋所诱惑,这可能会损害到你做出的选择。

在座各位都拥有许多天赋。我确信你们的天赋之一就是拥有精明能干的头脑。之所以如此确信,是因为入学竞争十分激烈,如果你们不能表现出聪明智慧,便没有资格进入这所学校。

你们的聪明才智必定会派上用场,因为你们将在一片充满奇迹的土地上行进。我们人类,尽管跬步前行,却终将令自己大吃一惊。我们能够想方设法制造清洁能源,也能够一个原子一个原子地组装微型机械,使之穿过细胞壁,然后修复细胞。这个月,有一个异常而不可避免的事情发生了——人类终于合成了生命。在未来几年,我们不仅会合成生命,还会按说明书驱动它们。我相信你们甚至会看到我们理解人类的大脑,儒勒·凡尔纳,马克·吐温,伽利略,牛顿——所有那些充满好奇之心的人都希望能够活到现在。作为文明人,我们会拥有如此之多的天赋,就像是坐在我面前的你们,每一个生命个体都拥有许多独特的天赋。

你们要如何运用这些天赋呢?你们会为自己的天赋感到骄傲,还是会为自己的选择感到骄傲?

追随自己内心的热情

16年前,我萌生了创办亚马逊的想法。彼时我面对的现实是互联网使用量以每年2300%的速度增长,我从未看到或听说过任何增长如此快速的东西。创建涵盖几百万种书籍的网上书店的想法令我兴奋异常,因为这个东西在物理世界里根本无法存在。那时我刚刚30岁,结婚才一年。

我告诉妻子MacKenzie想辞去工作,然后去做这件疯狂的事情,很可能会失败,因为大部分创业公司都是如此,而且我不确定那之后会发生什么。MacKenzie告诉我,我应该放手一搏。在我还是一个男孩儿的时候,我是车库发明家。我曾用水泥填充的轮胎、雨伞和锡箔以及报警器制作了一个自动关门器。我一直想做一个发明家,MacKenzie支持我追随内心的热情。

我当时在纽约一家金融公司工作,同事是一群非常聪明的人,我的老板也很有智慧,我很羡慕他。我告诉我的老板我想开办一家在网上卖书的公司。他带我在中央公园漫步良久,认真地听我讲完,最后说:“听起来真是一个很好的主意,但是对那些目前没有谋到一份好工作的人来说,这个主意会更好。”

这一逻辑对我而言颇有道理,他说服我在最终作出决定之前再考虑48小时。那样想来,这个决定确实很艰难,但是最终,我决定拼一次。我认为自己不会为尝试过后的失败而遗憾,倒是有所决定但完全不付诸行动会一直煎熬着我。在深思熟虑之后,我选择了那条不安全的道路,去追随我内心的热情。我为那个决定感到骄傲。

明天,非常现实地说,你们从零塑造自己人生的时代即将开启。

你们会如何运用自己的天赋?你们又会作出怎样的抉择?

你们是被惯性所引导,还是追随自己内心的热情?

你们会墨守陈规,还是勇于创新?

你们会选择安逸的生活,还是选择一个奉献与冒险的人生?

你们会屈从于批评,还是会坚守信念?

你们会掩饰错误,还是会坦诚道歉?

你们会因害怕拒绝而掩饰内心,还是会在面对爱情时勇往直前?

你们想要波澜不惊,还是想要搏击风浪?

你们会在严峻的现实之下选择放弃,还是会义无反顾地前行?

你们要做愤世嫉俗者,还是踏实的建设者?

你们要不计一切代价地展示聪明,还是选择善良?

我要做一个预测:在你们80岁时某个追忆往昔的时刻,只有你一个人静静对内心诉说着你的人生故事,其中最为充实、最有意义的那段讲述,会被你们作出的一系列决定所填满。最后,是选择塑造了我们的人生。为你自己塑造一个伟大的人生故事。

谢谢,祝你们好运!

(本文译自贝索斯在普林斯顿大学2010年学士毕业典礼上的演讲)

乔布斯(Steve Jobs)在斯坦福毕业典礼的演讲——Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

 

摘要:

“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

当我十七岁的时候,我读到了一句话:“如果你把每一天都当作生命中最后一天去生活的话,那么有一天你会发现你是正确的。”这句话给我留下了深刻的印象。从那时开始,过了33 年,我在每天早晨都会对着镜子问自己:“如果今天是我生命中的最后一天,你会不会完成你今天想做的事情呢?”当答案连续很多次被给予“不是”的时候,我知道自己需要改变某些事情了。

 

 

 

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This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

 

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much

http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

翻译:

史蒂夫 乔布斯(Steve Jobs)在斯坦福大学2005年毕业典礼上的演讲

我今天很荣幸能和你们一起参加毕业典礼,斯坦福大学是世界上最好的大学之一。我从来没有从大学中毕业。说实话,今天也许是在我的生命中离大学毕业最近的一天了。今天我想向你们讲述我生活中的三个故事。不是什么大不了的事情,只是三个故事而已。
第一个故事是关于如何把生命中的点点滴滴串连起来。
我在Reed大学读了六个月之后就退学了,但之后作为旁听生又混了十八个月以后才真正离开。我为什么要退学呢?
故事从我出生的时候讲起。我的亲生母亲是一个年轻的,没有结婚的大学毕业生。她决定让别人收养我, 她十分想让我被大学毕业生收养。所以在我出生的时候,她已经做好了一切的准备工作,能使得我被一个律师和他的妻子所收养。但是她没有料到,当我出生之后, 律师夫妇突然决定他们想要一个女孩。所以我的生养父母(他们在待选名单上)突然在半夜接到了一个电话:"我们现在这儿有一个不小心生出来的男婴,你们想要他吗?"他们回答道: "当然!"但是我亲生母亲随后发现,我的养母从来没有上过大学,我的养父 甚至从没有读过高中。她拒绝签这个收养合同。只是在几个月以后,我的父母答应她一定要让我上大学,那个时候她才软化同意。
在十七岁那年,我真的上了大学。但是我很愚蠢的选择了一个几乎和你们斯坦福大学一样贵的学校, 我父母还处于蓝领阶层,他们几乎把所有积蓄都花在了我的学费上面。在六个月后, 我已经看不到其中的价值所在。我不知道我真正想要做什么,我也不知道大学能怎样帮助我找到答案。但是在这里,我几乎花光了我父母这一辈子的 全部积蓄。所以我决定要退学,我觉得这是个正确的决定。不能否认,我当时确实非常的害怕, 但是现在回头看看,那的确是我这一生中最棒的一个决定。在我做出退学决定的那一刻, 我终于可以不必去读那些令我提不起丝毫兴趣的课程了。然后我可以开始去修那些看起来有点意思的课程。

但是这并不是那么罗曼蒂克。我失去了我的宿舍,所以我只能在朋友房间的地板上面睡觉,我去捡可以换5美分的可乐罐,仅仅为了填饱肚子, 在星期天的晚上,我需要走七英里的路程,穿过这个城市到Hare Krishna神庙(注:位于纽约Brooklyn下城),只是为了能吃上好饭——这个星期唯一一顿好一点的饭,我喜欢那里的饭菜。
我跟着我的直觉和好奇心走, 遇到的很多东西,此后被证明是无价之宝。让我给你们举一个例子吧:
Reed大学在那时提供也许是全美最好的美术字课程。在这个大学里面的每个海报, 每个抽屉的标签上面全都是漂亮的美术字。因为我退学了, 不必去上正规的课程, 所以我决定去参加这个课程,去学学怎样写出漂亮的美术字。我学到了san serif 和serif字体, 我学会了怎么样在不同的字母组合之中改变空白间距, 还有怎么样才能作出最棒的印刷式样。那种美好、历史感和艺术精妙,是科学永远不能捕捉到的, 我发现那实在是太迷人了。
当时看起来这些东西在我的生命中,好像都没有什么实际应用的可能。但是十年之后,当我们在设计第一台Macintosh电脑的时候,就不是那样了。我把当时我学的那些 东西全都设计进了Mac。那是第一台使用了漂亮的印刷字体的电脑。如果我当时没有退学, 就不会有机会去参加这个我感兴趣的美术字课程, Mac就不会有这么多丰富的字体,以及赏心悦目的字体间距。因为Windows只是抄袭了Mac,所以现在个人电脑就不会有现在这么美妙的字型了。
当然我在大学的时候,还不可能把从前的点点滴滴串连起来,但是当我十年后回顾这一切的时候,真的豁然开朗了。
再次说明的是,你在向前展望的时候不可能将这些片断串连起来;你只能在回顾的时候将点点滴滴串连起来。所以你必须相信这些片断会在你未来的某一天串连起来。你必须要相信某些东西:你的勇气、目的、生命、因缘……这个过程从来没有令我失望,只是让我的生命更加地与众不同。
我的第二个故事是关于爱和失去。
我非常幸运, 因为我在很早的时候就找到了我钟爱的东西。Woz和我在二十岁的时候就在父母的车库里面开创了苹果公司。我们工作得很努力, 十年之后, 这个公司从那两个车库中的穷小子发展到了超过四千名的雇员、价值超过二十亿的大公司。在公司成立的第九年,我们刚刚发布了最好的产品,那就是Macintosh。我也快要到三十岁了。在那一年, 我被炒了鱿鱼。你怎么可能被你自己创立的公司炒了鱿鱼呢? 嗯,在苹果快速成长的时候,我们雇用了一个很有天分的家伙和我一起管理这个公司, 在最初的几年,公司运转的很好。但是后来我们对未来的看法发生了分歧, 最终我们吵了起来。当争吵不可开交的时候, 董事会站在了他的那一边。所以在三十岁的时候, 我被炒了。在这么多人目光下我被炒了。在而立之年,我生命的全部支柱离自己远去, 这真是毁灭性的打击。
在最初的几个月里,我真是不知道该做些什么。我觉得我很令上一代的创业家们很失望,我把他们交给我的接力棒弄丢了。我和创办惠普的David Pack、创办Intel的Bob Noyce见面,并试图向他们道歉。我把事情弄得糟糕透顶了。但是我渐渐发现了曙光, 我仍然喜爱我从事的这些东西。苹果公司发生的这些事情丝毫的没有改变这些, 一点也没有。我被驱逐了,但是我仍然钟爱我所做的事情。所以我决定从头再来。
我当时没有觉察, 但是事后证明, 从苹果公司被炒是我这辈子发生的最棒的事情。因为,作为一个成功者的负重感被作为一个创业者的轻松感觉所重新代替, 没有比这更确定的事情了。这让我觉得如此自由, 进入了我生命中最有创造力的一个阶段。
在接下来的五年里, 我创立了一个名叫NeXT的公司, 还有一个叫Pixar的公司, 然后和一个后来成为我妻子的优雅女人相识。Pixar 制作了世界上第一个用电脑制作的动画电影——"玩具总动员",Pixar现在也是世界上最成功的电脑制作工作室。在后来的一系列运转中,Apple收购了NeXT, 然后我又回到了Apple公司。我们在NeXT发展的技术在Apple的今天的复兴之中发挥了关键的作用。而且,我还和Laurence 一起建立了一个幸福完美的家庭。
我可以非常肯定,如果我不被Apple开除的话, 这其中一件事情也不会发生的。这个良药的味道实在是太苦了,但是我想病人需要这个药。有些时候, 生活会拿起一块砖头向你的脑袋上猛拍一下。不要失去信仰。我很清楚唯一使我一直走下去的,就是我做的事情令我无比钟爱。你需要去找到你所爱的东西。对于工作是如此, 对于你的爱人也是如此。你的工作将会占据生活中很大的一部分。你只有相信自己所做的是伟大的工作, 你才能怡然自得。如果你现在还没有找到, 那么继续找、不要停下来,只要全心全意的去找, 在你找到的时候,你的心会告诉你的。就像任何真诚的关系, 随着岁月的流逝只会越来越紧密。所以继续找,直到你找到它,不要停下来!
我的第三个故事是关于死亡的。
当我十七岁的时候, 我读到了一句话:"如果你把每一天都当作生命中最后一天去生活的话,那么有一天你会发现你是正确的。"这句话给我留下了一个印象。从那时开始,过了33 年,我在每天早晨都会对着镜子问自己:"如果今天是我生命中的最后一天, 你会不会完成你今天想做的事情呢?"当答案连续多天是"No"的时候, 我知道自己需要改变某些事情了。
"记住你即将死去"是我一生中遇到的最重要箴言。它帮我指明了生命中重要的选择。因为几乎所有的事情, 包括所有的荣誉、所有的骄傲、所有对难堪和失败的恐惧,这些在死亡面前都会消失。我看到的是留下的真正重要的东西。你有时候会思考你将会失去某些东西, "记住你即将死去"是我知道的避免这些想法的最好办法。你已经赤身裸体了, 你没有理由不去跟随自己内心的声音。
大概一年以前, 我被诊断出癌症。我在早晨七点半做了一个检查, 检查清楚的显示在我的胰腺有一个肿瘤。我当时都不知道胰腺是什么东西。医生告诉我那很可能是一种无法治愈的癌症, 我还有三到六个月的时间活在这个世界上。我的医生叫我回家, 然后整理好我的一切, 那是医生对临终病人的标准程序。那意味着你将要把未来十年对你小孩说的话在几个月里面说完.;那意味着把每件事情都安排好, 让你的家人会尽可能轻松的生活;那意味着你要说"再见了"。
我拿着那个诊断书过了一整天,那天晚上我作了一个活切片检查,医生将一个内窥镜从我的喉咙伸进去,通过我的胃, 然后进入我的肠子, 用一根针在我的胰腺上的肿瘤上取了几个细胞。我当时是被麻醉的,但是我的妻子在那里, 后来告诉我,当医生在显微镜下观察这些细胞的时候他们开始尖叫, 因为这些细胞最后竟然是一种非常罕见的可以用手术治愈的胰腺癌症细胞。我做了这个手术, 现在我痊愈了。
那是我最接近死亡的时候, 我希望这也是以后的几十年最接近的一次。从死亡线上又活了过来, 我可以比以前把死亡只当成一 种想象中的概念的时候,更肯定一点地对你们说:
没有人愿意死, 即使人们想上天堂, 也不会为了去那里而死。但是死亡是我们每个人共同的终点。从来没有人能够逃脱它。也应该如此。因为死亡就是生命中最好的一个发明。它将旧的清除以便给新的让路。你们现在是新的, 但是从现在开始不久以后, 你们将会逐渐的变成旧的然后被送离人生舞台。我很抱歉这很戏剧性, 但是这十分的真实。
你们的时间很有限, 所以不要将他们浪费在重复其他人的生活上。不要被教条束缚,那意味着你和其他人思考的结果一起生活。不要被其他人喧嚣的观点掩盖你真正的内心的声音。还有最重要的是, 你要有勇气去听从你直觉和心灵的指示——它们在某种程度上知道你想要成为什么样子,所有其他的事情都是次要的。
当我年轻的时候, 有一本叫做"整个地球的目录"振聋发聩的杂志,它是我们那一代人的圣经之一。它是一个叫Stewart Brand的家伙在离这里不远的Menlo Park编辑的, 他象诗一般神奇地将这本书带到了这个世界。那是六十年代后期, 在个人电脑出现之前, 所以这本书全部是用打字机,、剪刀还有偏光镜制造的。有点像用软皮包装的google, 在google出现三十五年之前:这是理想主义的,其中有许多灵巧的工具和伟大的想法。

Stewart和他的伙伴出版了几期的"整个地球的目录",当它完成了自己使命的时候, 他们做出了最后一期的目录。那是在七十年代的中期, 我正是你们的年纪。在最后一期的封底上是清晨乡村公路的照片(如果你有冒险精神的话,你可以自己找到这条路的),在照片之下有这样一段话:"求知若饥,虚心若愚。"这是他们停止了发刊的告别语。"求知若饥,虚心若愚。"我总是希望自己能够那样,现在, 在你们即将毕业,开始新的旅程的时候, 我也希望你们能这样:
求知若饥,虚心若愚。
非常感谢你们
以上为史蒂夫.乔布斯在斯坦福大学2005年毕业典礼上的演讲

 

 

 

 

ps:把每一天都假设为自己的最后一天,当你真切的面对死亡,那么一切的艰难困惑,都将消失殆尽,你将直面你最内心的东西,最内心的渴求

约拿情结:渴望成长却又因为某些内在阻碍而害怕成长的畏惧心理。

约拿情结是人类普遍存在的一种心理现象。其由来则取自圣经中的一个故事:

约拿是圣经《旧约》里面的一个人物。他是亚米太的儿子,也是一名虔诚的基督教徒,并且一直渴望能够得到神的差遣。有一天,神耶和华终于交给了他一个光荣的任务:以神的旨意去宣布赦免一座本来要被罪行毁灭的城市——尼尼微城。可是约拿却畏惧了,逃避了这个任务。直到耶和华寻找他、唤醒他、惩戒他,甚至让一条大鱼吞了他。约拿才在几经反复和犹疑后,终于悔改,去完成了他的使命。

上帝要约拿到尼尼微城去传话,这本是一种崇高的使命和很高的荣誉,也是约拿平素所向往的。而一旦理想成为现实,他又产生了畏惧心理,害怕自己不行,想回避即将到来的成功,想推却突然降临的荣誉。所以,“约拿”这个词就被用来指代那些渴望成长却又因为某些内在阻碍而害怕成长的人。而这种在成功面前的畏惧心理,就是“约拿情结”。

1966年美国著名心理学家马斯洛就对这种阻碍生命成长和自我兑现的“约拿情结”进入深入研究,并发现人类普遍存在这样一种心态:

  • 在面对自己时会表现为:逃避成长、执迷不悟、拒绝承当伟大的使命;
  • 在面对他人时会表现为:如果别人表现出优秀之处,便会嫉妒;如果别人受到了祝福,他会心里难受;如果别人倒了霉,他会幸灾乐祸。

这种情节导致人们不敢去做自己能做得很好的事,甚至逃避发掘自己的潜力。在日常生活中这种行为表现为:缺少上进心。这种对成长的恐惧,也称之“伪愚”。

每个人都希望在生活工作中取得自我实现,即对成长的渴望、对提高自我并且实现自我的冲动、对发挥自己潜能的愿望。可实际上,大多数的人感到并没有实现自我,没有充分发挥自己的潜能和实现自己的内心愿望。

约拿情结正是阻碍自我实现的心理障碍因素之一:抑制自己的追求。

人们存在着一种“健康无意识”的心理机制:“人们不仅压制自己危险的、可怕的、可憎的冲动,也常常压制美好而崇高的冲动”。我们的行为因受到周围环境的影响,会把自己真实的个性特点隐藏起来,而迎合社会中普遍流行的观点和行为方式。比如:当生活的环境视天真纯情为幼稚可笑,视诚实为轻信,视坦率为无知,视慷慨为缺乏判断力,视同情心为廉价盲目、视善良为懦弱时,我们就会隐藏自己其中的一面。

所以,在一个谦虚被称为美德的国家。大家都喜欢“低调”的言论和行动,而讨厌甚至敌视喜欢“高调”行事的人。而人们的本性又都有追求成长渴望成功和自我实现的内心冲动,在此冲动的作用下,人们为了自己的目标或理想而努力奋斗,人们都希望表现出自己优秀的一面,希望得到认可;但长期的生活实践告诉他们,张扬的个性和行动是不受欢迎的,所以大多数人总要像变色龙一样披上谦虚的外衣,隐藏自己的真实情感,以防冒犯别人和遭到众人的敌视。从而抑制了自己去追求自我实现。

其实,成功的人之所以不同就因为他们在内在本性和外在坏境的冲突下,没有选择对强大的和无处不在的社会力量妥协;没有变得温顺、服从、谦恭、缺乏质疑和进取精神;没有放弃自己去取得成长的最高可能性。他们以自己的方式去解决冲突,去坚持自己的追求和梦想,这样他们才有可能会取得成功,成为杰出人物。

成长是人的本性,所以人们都在成长,只是成长的方式不同,能够达到的状态也不同:妥协的人是在恐惧、紧张情绪的伴随下,以谦恭、温顺的表面形象为掩护来成长,所以他们的成长过程是不健康和不快乐的,并且也是不能够发挥自身潜能的。勇敢的人则正好相反,他们可以有效解决冲动与阻碍之间的关系,达到心理上的某种平衡状态,因此,他们的成长是正常和快乐的,取得的可能状态也就会更高一些。

约拿情结告诉我们:成功源自克服内心的成长障碍。在人生前进的道路上,除了我们自己,还能有谁能够打败我们呢!

似乎任何职业都会给从业人员带来这样那样的习惯。国外某网站上有位朋友(应该也是程序员)想了解其他程序员在投身堆码事业后有什么样的坏习惯。结果一呼百应,很多程序员纷纷自爆自己的坏习惯和糗人糗事。编程无国界,相信国内堆码界的朋友,也会有同感。

1. 编程已给我带来很多坏习惯,编程也每天在继续给我新增更多的坏习惯。当然有些习惯和编程无关了。下面这些习惯尽管我也很想改掉,但已根深蒂固。

  • a. 在天地万物中,去发现多态、继承和模式;
  • b. 用十六进制代码中的像素和颜色来解释某东西的大小;
  • c. 在日常交谈中用代码相关的抽象术语。

2. 我现在认为256这个数字非常完美。但非程序员不明白这个,有时候让我措手不及。
编者评:1024呢?
3. 我在看纸质书时,我就非常沮丧。为什么我不能用Ctrl + F来找想看的东西呢?
编者评:我在看电视时,一到广告,我也非常沮丧。为什么我不能往后脱呢?
4. Q: Do you want tea OR coffee?
A: Yes
侍者:你喝茶还是咖啡?
客人:是
编者评:如果该服务生是个兼职打工的程序员,那就直接给你上茶和咖啡。因为,不管“上茶”还是“上咖啡”,都是满足“茶||咖啡”条件的。如果能多卖一样,何乐而不为呢?
5. 我Google一切。
编者评:今天,你百度了么?
6. 几年前,我去一家咖啡店吃午饭,柜台里边的MM问我吃哪种面包。我不假思索地说:“默认的。”
囧,她或许现在还在笑我……
编者评:如果该MM不懂编程,她应该不会发“”,只会发蒙。
7. 每天坐在屏幕面前,盯上10个小时,这样真的很难保持健康。如果你经常走神,编程可以帮你养成久坐的生活方式。
编者评:不仅程序员可以练久坐,站长也可以。
8. 在现实世界中,我真的很需要Ctrl + Z。
编者评:不仅你想要,我们也想要。除了不仅要这个,每次看到钱包的时候,都会想:“要说我能Ctrl+C和Ctlr+V多好啊!”。另外,某某说他的成功可以Ctrl + C,莫非他和我们同行?
9. 我是从零开始数数的,经常用“1”表示结束,而别人用“1”表示开始。
编者评:这个习惯的养成是一个艰难的过程。多少次的越界,多少次的循环次数错误让俺们深刻体会:万物始于0。
10. 我喜欢“是/不是”类型的问题,我对那种既不是“是”,也不是“不是”的回答非常不爽。
比如:我问:“你不介意我换个台吧?” 别人答:“我正在和我妹妹IM聊天。”对我来说,这就好比:public bool canFlip( ) { return "I’m IMing my sister"; }
返回结果明显是个字符串,而不是布尔值。对别人来说,他们已明确告诉答案了;在我看来,他们的回答是“强制转换错误”。如果我再问那个问题,他们还有同样的回答话,那应该在catch语句块中抛出异常了。
编者评:无
11. 我教我们家小孩,三主色是:Red、Green和Blue。
12. 侍者:嗨,我叫克里斯蒂,我是你的server/侍者!(server除表示“侍者”之外,还指“服务器”。)
我:嗨,我叫麦克,我是你的client/客户端!
(真实的故事)
编者评:嗨,麦克,原来你就是C/S中的C啊,久仰大名!
13. 我发现,有时候我明明说的非常精确,但某人(通常是我老婆)并不领会我的精确性,而是理解成类似的东西。这让我抓狂。比如,我在做菜的时候,我并没有说:“从冰箱里拿任何黄的东西,”我是说:“给我黄油。”
但她递给我人造黄油。
编者评:同学,这就是你的不对了!“人造黄油”是“黄油”的子类哦!

14. 当我收到如下留言后:
(去店里买个面包。如果他们有柴鸡蛋,买10个。)
结果我买了10个面包回家。
编者评:因为店里有柴鸡蛋。严格来说,这是个脑筋急转弯。
15. 我想用正则表达式来搜寻现实对象。
编者评:如果能做到,不知你在中文世界能搜到什么?
16. 在平常打字中,句子都是分号结尾
编者评:幸亏某些语言不是用问号结尾,否则谁能看懂你的文章。
17. 我在家做任何家务事都非常有条理。比如,在使用任何产品之前,我会仔细阅读附带的说明书,即使是使用非常简单的烤面包机也不例外。如果我要挂相框,我会Google一下“如何挂相框”,确定我所知道的是正确的(或者在亚马逊上找本悬挂相框相关的书)。
在每做任何一件事之前,我都会准备一切必备的工具。在实际操作之前(这些操作可不能撤销的),我会做大量的测量和试验。但这让我老婆彻底发狂。
编者评:阅读手册绝对是好习惯;动手操作之前做准备工作,也不能算坏习惯。顶多算是类职业病。你老婆不该抓狂的。但你挂相框,还要去Google一下,这个有点让我抓狂。
18. 把一段话称为“字符串”。这让非程序员们非常不解 – 嘛是“字符串”?
编者评:的确如此。隔行如隔山!术语
19. 我发现我在写信的时候常常在侧边嵌套花括号,我老婆看到后以为我抽风了。收件人也应该差不多这样想。但这已经是习惯了。
编者评:无
20. 缺觉,我现在习惯了。
编者评:大熊猫应该不再是濒危动物了!缺觉有害健康。另外,正在看本文的朋友,不管你是否是程序员,都应该检测一下自己的睡眠是否达标了。如何检测,请参考伯乐在线的《你的睡眠时间和睡眠质量达标了么?》一文。
21. 我喜欢优化每天的事情,通过尽可能地多的并行处理事情。比如,在启动电脑后,跑到厨房打开水壶、准备咖啡,然后跑回来输入密码登录系统;在打开火狐时,去倒开水冲咖啡,然后端着咖啡回来浏览新闻;另外,坐在马桶上刷牙,每天也能节省几分钟。
编者评:我端的不是咖啡,拿的是鼠标!

天涯原帖《妹子们的黑历史自己做过的最堕落 最放纵 最邪恶的事情》

地址:http://www.tianya.cn/publicforum/content/funinfo/1/2173508.shtml

 

 

内容的摘要:

 

LZ:

作者:小三季稻 发表日期:2010-8-6 12:38:00

大家进来818自己做过的最堕落最放纵 最邪恶的事情

顺便留下性别和年龄。

今天小妹做了人家的小三而且是故意的。心理特别爽。。

但是又觉得良心不安。所以想来听听大家最堕落的事情……….

………………………..

…………………………

……………………………………………

回帖精选:

作者:堕落的黑马甲 回复日期:2010-08-07 15:05:03

1 刚跟男朋分手的时候,那段时间心情极差,

故意找他哥们出来,单独的。, 喝酒, 然后跟他哥们上床报复他。而且不只一个。

2 还是那段时间,一个人去酒吧疯。, 喝醉了被陌生男人带去开房, 跟谁我都不知道, 早上起来一个人坐在墙角哭。。。。哭了很久。

3 少儿不宜 算了。

 

 

作者:堕落的黑马甲 回复日期:2010-08-07 18:04:03

嗯,披个公马说话。

我没有楼上某姑娘这么BH,但是这两年来我一直在和三个男人同时交往,一个是相亲认识的两个是网上认识的,其中两个异地(在不同的地方)一个现在在和我同居。

他们都很喜欢我,以为我只有他们一个男朋友。

不过我已经快精神分裂了,很厌恶欺骗别人的自己,最近会把这件事情处理掉。

就这样吧。

 

 

作者:堕落的黑马甲 回复日期:2010-08-07 19:02:47

好像都没有我放纵。话说我和我老公是初恋,在一起都快10年了。他和周围的人一直以为我是很传统的乖乖女。其实我有时候特别疯狂,迄今为止上过床的男的都快2位数了…。我也很鄙视自己

作者:dtctlc2 回复日期:2010-08-07 19:44:11

和初恋男友几个月后又和他上床并保持暧昧关系。

本来是准备报复他找小三,让他重新爱上我后再狠狠把他甩掉。现在弄得自己是欲罢不能,真是作孽啊。。。

分手后曾一度极其堕落,抽烟酗酒,去酒吧赌场鬼混,和各种男人逢场作戏,。

现在想想,真TM贱。

 

作者:堕落的黑马甲 回复日期:2010-08-07 19:53:24

唔,好像都没我厉害。

我是女的。曾经因为生活所迫,做过一段时间的应召女郎。

被客人带到过那种俱乐。。NP。。

还有客人喜欢SM…都做过了,要是单说XING的话,对我来说已经没有什么稀奇的事了。

 

作者:堕落的黑马甲 回复日期:2010-08-07 21:06:23

19岁,初夜,是卖给别人的。后来喜欢上一个男人,尽管他是个小白脸。我用从跟别的男人那上床换来的钱养着他,后来因为他我被人QJ。大学毕业后为了摆脱这样的生活到了北京。现在28岁,没有谈过一次正常的恋爱,除了419,就是当小三,直到现在,同时跟三个男人保持xing关系,一个比我小4岁,一个比我小7岁,一个是已婚男人。。。。。我自己算了一下,跟我有过关系的男人的数量在30+,我快疯了,我跟孤单,我摆脱不了这样的状态,一到周末就想着去夜店勾搭。。。。。。。可笑的是我在公司是一个再正常不过的小白领,大家来bs我吧

 

作者:能不能听我说 回复日期:2010-08-08 13:22:10

我也来说说我的吧,第一次说出来,都是特别特别后悔的事情,现在自己已从泥沼中抽身,明白了自己想要什么,过得很好很正常。

1、被一个很恶心的老男人勾引,当了小三,那时老男人的老婆正在老家做月子,老男人的老婆很漂亮,当时她才28岁,还是学钢琴的硕士。后来老男人的老婆发现了这事,不知道现在离婚了没有。这件事让我后悔无比,老男人太可恶了,打着爱情的旗号俘虏了我,当时自己太年轻也太不清醒了,糊里糊涂的就伤害了别人,希望老男人的老婆和孩子现在过得好!

2、和老男人分手后,和一个自己做生意的男人认识了不到2周就又同居了,那男人特猥琐,虽然长得人高马大,JJ最大时却也只有大拇指那么大,他还特喜欢我舔他下面,也不洗洗,臭的要命。想想那段时间真是太堕落了,自己都不认清自己,还好和他只持续了2个月。

3、也许那段时间和人上床上多了,和他们分了后,自己还搞了次ONS,北京人,大丑男,一点感觉也没有。也许那时太年轻了吧,还以为ONS会有多刺激,其实吧空虚无聊极了,还是和自己爱的人一起才能有感觉。

4、为了做一笔非常重要业务,和一个50多岁的掌有重权的老男人上床,还不止一次,这完全是潜规则了,完全是被迫。这事到现在对我来说还是阴影。我想如果再遇到这种情况,我知道该选择什么了,不能为了钱、业务,把自己出卖了,不然最对不起的人就是自己。

唉,今天算是全交代了,请大家鄙视我吧!

 

作者:能不能听我说 回复日期:2010-08-08 14:03:48

和男友分手(不是很爱,只是想结婚)找了一个自己说还算有钱的,有x关系,更不爱,也只是想结婚,在网上认识一个比自己小两岁的弟弟,喝酒,发生关系,半途,那个老男人找我,在门口敲门,我叫声很大,也没停,打电话给我装糊涂,接着做,老男人在楼下吸了一夜的烟,好像还拿石头砸了窗。

于是就想和他分手,他赖着不放,说原谅我,他曾经抓到过前女友和别人,只是不是像我是现形,估计这辈子对女人都有阴影了

当时脚踩三条船,前男友,老男人,弟弟,后来远走,换电话,没联系

后来和一个已婚的男人有过n次419,他老婆刚生了小孩,男孩挺可爱的,n次和他老婆偶遇,还去他家里去看过她,小小的,看起来乖乖的小女人。

有了这些经历,知道什么是好男人,很珍惜现在的男人

 

作者:密码202020 回复日期:2010-08-08 14:44:28

额,都写下来,看看哪件最堕落。

跟个小GAY恋爱,比我小三岁,以为他转性了爱我,结果无意知道他还在每晚送我回家后去插人家的菊花,这个死小GAY实在太YD,简直女表子一个,于是后来我很长时间里都不正常了,跟我们共同的一个男性朋友上床,上了两年,不跟人家谈恋爱,只 XX,不过算有原因吧,他很帅,比我小四岁,我觉得跟他来真的,将来会把握不住他。

自从遇到一个老男人以后,,口味越来越变态,分别跟比我大16岁跟19岁的老男人上床,现在在一起的男人也不清不楚,好像炮友,比我大13岁,床上功夫都很强,特别是现在这个,还跟好几个人ONS。

 

 

作者:能不能听我说 回复日期:2010-08-08 19:52:39

1 大学时异地恋,知道前男朋友和别人发生了肉体关系,想办法逃学,和他同居一个多月 每天都偷偷喂他避孕药 直到无论如何挑逗他都无法BQ时离开 并分手分手前把他的电脑拿出去卖了 和他恋爱期间曾假称怀孕诈了他一笔钱

2 通过他的空间查到三的QQ 想办法进入她的空间 在她空间的好友中一个个的找到她的大号 再从她大号空间中的留言的男人一个一个加为好友 直到找到她的男朋友告诉他他的女朋友和我的男朋友上过床 当然那个我的身份是虚伪的

3 大一时和一个四十多的男人援交

4 和男友A去参加他宿舍朋友的生日宴 结果偶遇宿舍朋友的老乡–男友B带着他的女朋友

5 无可救要的喜欢上一个男人 我背着异地恋男友他背着女友偷情 在野外OOXX,和他谈了很久,分分和和 直到工作后觉得他虽然长的帅但工作能力不行`果断分手

6 被某男打了一巴掌晚上在他睡后用刀子捅了他一刀(大腿)

7 为了工作的稳定与晋升用肉体行贿

8 十几岁时设计把和自己有过节的女孩骗去 让几个男人LJ了她

9 工作后认识了一个高中的男孩子 并保持一段时间的肉体关系 直到他高考落榜(中考时前几名进重点高中的孩子,最终连二本都没考进) 他的妈妈是我的小学数学老师曾当着全班同学的面打了我四个耳光

10 大学时曾有一个同班同学喜欢我 是那种默默的喜欢 我也知道他的心思 如果寂寞时就让他陪着我 我一直在装傻 假装不知他喜欢我 将他做为备胎 直到某次狠狠的伤害他

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天`我竟然是这个样子你们骂我吧

 

作者:密码202020 回复日期:2010-08-09 00:08:32

马甲就是好

有个谈了3年多的BF,不过是异地

背着他和另外的两个男人ML过

有段时间有种上瘾的感觉,不过现在觉得很恶心

讨厌自己男朋友,想甩了他,可是没有找到备胎不甘心这么做

其中ML过的一个男的,想占有他,想得到他的人

对他威逼利诱让他追求我失败

有种想掐死他的感觉,现在正在制定报仇计划

经常有很多邪恶的想法,承认自己坏透了

只不过找不到实践的人和事

心理变态

在父母面前是乖女儿,朋友面前是个疯娃儿~呵呵,事情就是这么悲催

作者:能不能听我说 回复日期:2010-08-09 00:30:23

16岁被一个已婚老男人qiang bao夺走第一次过后,开始堕落,

现在4年过去了,ONS,耍耍而已的男朋友等等,,,和我上过床的男人有三十多个,,。

现在和我保持xing关系的男人也有3个。其中2个已婚,1个有女朋友,

狗血的是,其中的1个已婚男人大我15岁,我爱的死去活来,跟他一起一年多了,至今放不下,为了他我真的傻的可以,还为他做了第一次人流.而且他对我一点都不好…..

.好吧,我承认自己就是犯贱,。。说出来心头好受多了。。

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最后是质疑的声音

作者:847929342 回复日期:2010-08-09 03:48:18

我觉得那些三十几四十几的多有吹牛的成分

女人都是虚荣的,反正这帖用马甲发帖,又不用负责任,看人家写得那么乱,自己总想比别人BH些,本来是个树洞,最后变成了吹牛比拼帖,各位大姐大妈们,不要再说几十个了,因为已经有人说了,再说,就说你被一百多人上过,看,这多有成就感

反正吹牛又不用上税,就随便乱吹呗

还有前面那个说找男同学轮奸自己女同学的脑残,你TM编故事也得讲点原则好不?

你女同学是白痴吗?就这样白白被人轮了,连个屁都不敢放?她不也放屁,她父母也不也放屁?

我倒知道这样一个故事,也是女同学嫉妒找人把班花轮了,当晚班花回家后就被自己奶奶发现了,要知道,一个十几岁小处女,一晚上同时被几个男人开苞,那可不是闹着玩的,你敢说你同学当时没被家人看出异常?

真是脑残到家了,她那篇狗屁不通的瞎编帖,居然还有人信,还有人叫好?

脑残得无可救药了,那分明是一个心理阴暗不得志的女孩的意淫帖!!!!

综上所述,这帖的真实度很待考证,水分太大!

诸位同学不必当真!!!!!

作者:菲利普·科特勒(现代营销学之父)

第一次提出以交换座位营销基础的核心概念,除产品和劳务外,人、观念、地方、组织和经验都是营销的对象。

他认为,营销的职能是:能识别顾客的需要和欲求,确定企业所能提供最佳服务的目标市场,并设计适当的产品、服务和项目以便满足这些市场的需求。

《营销管理》:

每个公司每个人都应该懂得:

如何界定细分市场;

怎样通过开发设计既定目标细分市场来满足人们对产品和服务的需求,从而为自身牢固地进行市场定位;

如何为其待售品定价,才能让人买得起,并且愿意购买;

如何对产品进行广告和促销,以便顾客了解并希望获得这些产品。

 
 

 
 

 
 

  1. 细分市场
    1. 如何细分市场
      1. 划定细分范围
      2. 确认细分依据
      3. 权衡细分变量
      4. 实施市场调查
      5. 评估细分市场
      6. 选择目标市场
      7. 设计营销策略

         
         

    2. 选择目标市场
      1. 选择的条件:
        1. 该市场能够给企业带来效益
        2. 企业具备足够的资源和优势去开拓该市场
      2. 了解消费者的购买策略:”5W“和”1H
        1. Who,谁来买
        2. What,买什么
        3. When,何时购买
        4. Where,何处购买
        5. How,怎么购买
        6. Why,为什么购买
    3. 市场定位
      1. 两种基本的市场定位策略
        1. 迎头定位策略
        2. 避强定位策略
      2. 市场定位的方法
        1. 依据用途定位
        2. 依据产品的利益定位
        3. 根据价格和质量定位
        4. 根据使用者习惯看法定位
        5. 根据产品特征定位
        6. 根据竞争产品定位
        7. 组合定位

           
           

  2. 建立市场差别化
    1. 一个市场提供物可以在五个方面实行差别化:
      1. 渠道
      2. 人员
      3. 形象(标志、气氛、媒体、事件等)
      4. 产品(特色、性能质量、耐用性、可维护性、可靠性、设计、风格等)
      5. 服务(订货方便、交货、安装、客户培训、客户咨询、维修、多种服务等)
    2. 差别化的标准:重要性、独特性、专利性、优越性、可承担性、盈利性

       
       

  3. 延长产品生命周期
    1. 产品的生命周期理论
      1. 四个阶段:介绍期、成长期、成熟期和衰退期
    2. 在产品生命周期各个阶段的营销管理策略
      1. 介绍期:
        1. 高促销——高价格
        2. 低促销——高价格
        3. 高促销——低价格
        4. 低促销——低价格
      2. 成长期:
        1. 改善产品品质
        2. 寻找新的细分市场
        3. 改变广告宣传的重点
        4. 采取降价战略
      3. 成熟期:
        1. 营销改变:提高销售技巧上的竞争能力
          1. 雪茄、打折等优惠
          2. 又将、附赠礼品等
          3. 听取消费者意见、改进服务
          4. 有效广告手段、改进包装
        2. 市场改良:目标是,增加”更新”或”增买”的比例
          1. 采用价值工程法,让产品主配件同时损坏而难以修理,导致产品经济寿命结束,来迫使消费者更新
          2. 考虑产品的再定位,寻找新的目标市场,是消费者”增买”
          3. 促使消费者增大使用产品的频率
      4. 衰退期:
        1. 继续战略
        2. 集中战略
        3. 收缩战略
        4. 放弃战略

           
           

           
           

  4. 开发新产品以拓宽市场
    1. 新产品开发失败的原因
      1. 成本高于预计
      2. 对手的激烈反应超出估计
      3. 产品在市场上定位错误,没有有效的广告,或对产品定价过高
      4. 创意虽好,但对市场规模估计不足
      5. 高层可能不顾市场调查作出的结论,推行他喜爱的产品构思
    2. 影响新产品开发的因素
      1. 缺乏构思
      2. 细分成碎片的市场
      3. 社会和政府限制
      4. 开发过程中代价较高
  5. 新产品开发的步骤
    1. 新产品开发过程:
      1. 创意产生
      2. 创意筛选
      3. 概念发展和测试
      4. 营销战略发展
      5. 商业分析
      6. 产品开发
      7. 市场试销
      8. 商品化
    2. 收集创意的方法
      1. 适当的组织吸引好的创意
      2. 激发员工提出构思
      3. 允许技术员花费时间从事他们喜欢的项目
      4. 创意应写在纸上由创意委员会每周检查一次
      5. 把创意分成有前途的、暂时搁置的和放弃的3
      6. 每个有前途的创意需经过创意委员会一个成员的研究并作出报告返回
      7. 给与报酬或重用
      8. 对客户进行调查,顾客头脑风暴会议
      9. 建立关键词搜索,时常获取新产品信息
    3. 组合分析法
      1. 目的:衡量消费者对不同产品概念的偏好,以确定最佳吸引力的供应物、估计市场份额和公司可以获得的利润等。
      2. 测试后,提出营销战略计划,
        1. 描述目标市场的规模、结构和行为,所计划产品的定位和销售量、市场份额、开头几年的利润目标的前景分析
        2. 描述产品的计划价格、分销策略和第一年的营销预算
        3. ,描述预期的长期销售量和利润目标,以及不同时期的销售方式
  6. 拓展新市场的方法
    1. 了解市场
    2. 了解竞争对手
      1. 它模仿本公司策略
      2. 它不做任何反应
      3. 它采取相反方向的行为
    3. 了解自己的企业
  7. 如何打向国际市场
    1. 与独立代理商合作
    2. 建立合资企业
    3. 许可证贸易
    4. 合同制造
    5. 特许经营
    6. 出口产品